Maybe Someday, I Can Make Him Understand
by Anna St. James
Summary: Beth shares her thoughts about Josef, vampirism, and Mick during "Sleeping Beauty" when she and Mick meet Sara, and Josef has trouble with his composure. This is a One-Shot.


Author's Note: 

Here is one little one-shot story: Beth's thoughts, monologue style, while standing in Sara's bedroom as Josef introduces Mick and Beth to Sara, towards the end of the episode "Sleeping Beauty"

Alas, my writing of this does not change the fact the Moonlight is not mine. ;)

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_I stood there, leaning up against Mick's shoulder, watching the oldest person I know, maybe even the oldest person Mick knows, emotionally falling to pieces. I thought that man was like a rock, not even a bombing on his office during poker night, killing his close friends, could stop his sarcastic brash self. But here he is, trying to hold back his tears as he introduces us to Sara. And with every word he says, I can hear more and more of his un-dead heart breaking. I can't believe that I'm watching what I think I'm seeing. Its so surreal, the most powerful person I know crumbling to pieces here, sharing how he actually had feelings for a human being.  
_

_I didn't particularly care for the guy, the look in his eyes always read "you're prey" or "I want to hunt you". He's one of the most creepy people I know. I don't mind being around him when Mick is with me, but encountering him alone may not be conducive to my life. But anyway, here he is, standing on the other side of Sara, sharing how he truly thought that eternity had meant for him to find her. He's crumbling; I never imagined that, the pert little prick of a creature he is.  
_

_My heart aches, because, on the opposite side of the spectrum, I know exactly how Josef feels. I care for Mick so deeply; he's been the unsung hero for almost my whole life, my very own guardian angel. I wonder if he's been around for generations, just so that fate would allow me the opportunity to know him. I wonder if the winds of change and chance were predestined that I'd be kidnapped when I was four, so he could find me. I wonder if Mick wonders if we should be together, his emotions are so tightly veiled, I can't always understand him. I can't imagine my life anywhere else, except with him. The more time I spend with him, the more time I want to spend with him. Being with him, its almost an addiction. I understand that he's a different kind of creature than I am, but I don't care. I'm not afraid of who he is. I'm afraid of losing him. And he has almost no idea how deeply I feel for him. I worry sometimes that he doesn't even care.  
_

_I thought I had my whole life sorted out, dating a lawyer – the assistant district attorney, nailing a job where thousands watch my newscasts every day, my family, my friends, a comfortable apartment, and all by age 26. In a few years, maybe I would have settled things down, gotten married, started a family. __But it all changed one night when I was doing one of my first newscasts. I didn't know what to title my story, and in my pondering, I saw him in the shadows. His warm brown eyes hit such a deep resonance in my life. He very may have been a murderer watching his own crime scene, but I saw his eyes and I was hooked. They were so familiar, yet so very different from anyone else I had ever known, except for my childhood guardian angel. He regarded me, not as a stranger, but as a kindred spirit, for whatever reason. I know why now, but at the time, I was just mesmerized by him, his smile, and his eyes.  
_

_Mick calls himself a monster, he finds himself distasteful. I wish he could take the time and take an objective look at himself. I wish I could make him see all the good I see inside him. He has one of the purest hearts of anyone I've ever known, human or otherwise. I can see how much he tortures himself mentally for who he is, and I find myself wishing I had a way to erase his pain. I wish I could take it all away.  
_

_I need to make things right with Josh. I don't even know how anymore how, or if we can fix things. Josh used to be the most important thing in my life, I was wrapped up in his life and his charm. Once I met Mick, really met him, I started seeing a different side to Josh. I didn't know that he had the capacity to be so jealous over something he didn't even understand. I can't tell him that the same private detective who rescued me 22 years ago is the same 30 year old looking man I find myself working on stories and cases with. It would raise more questions than even I could answer. I can't answer those kinds of questions, and I'm sure Josh would have them. Hell, he may just have the entire LAPD harassing Mick.  
_

_As I look over to Josef, I at once, understood Sara so much clearer. Sara, in some ways, is just like me. She found the missing part of her soul in an un-dead person, and it meant so much to her, that she wanted to spend forever with him, at whatever cost. Unfortunately, the cost was high.  
_

_Mick completes me. I never thought I was missing something, but whatever that thing is, he filled that hole in my life. I'm not sure I'd want to live without him in my life. I couldn't walk away, even if I wanted to - which I don't. __I asked Mick to turn me a few months back, getting the black crystal into my system was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. Afterwards, I was embarrassed for being so forward, but I truly wish I had the courage to let him know exactly how I felt about him, and that I wanted to spend forever with him._

_Maybe someday, I'll find the words, or the way, to let him know how much he means to me._

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Well folks, thats all. I'll see, if in the future I can work it into a story. Right now, the character is just voicing off, and I wanted the chance to share it. Let me know what you think, please. I'll keep up my tradation of begging, so I'm on my knees asking you what you think! 


End file.
